We Too Deserve It.....

   

Being a girl is not so simple in a society like mine, I belong to a middle class family from a small village in Bihar. My father is a teacher and I have two brothers and I am the middle one. When I passed my matriculation everyone was happy but there were some people who had this thought in their mind that these things are not meant for girls, achievements are only meant for boys. After my matriculation I decided to go to city to prepare for JEE and intermediate and this idea was refused by all my relatives but I always had my father by my side. He supported me no matter what, my parents were there to always stand for me.

When I went to the city my neighbours started talking behind that i was living alone in the city who knows I am studying there or doing some other kind of unacceptable things. They even used to question my parents about this that they should not send a girl to study because it is very risky and might affect their marriage.

 

This was all that was going behind me but my parents did not let me know what they were suffering from. But the worst was yet to happen , I caught Dengue Fever in my hostel and due to which I had to come back to home. It took me almost a month to recover completely, but this was not it, I used to  get severe headache whenever I concentrated at my studies. At this time the societal norms prevailed and I was forced not to study as it was affecting my health. My family decided not to send me to the city to complete my preparations, I felt helpless. It was the time when I thought I had lost everything that I wanted in my career, everything that I had dreamed of. I wanted to be an independent woman in future, I wanted to make my parents proud, I wanted them to reward all their sufferings by becoming what they wanted, but at that time I was left with nothing.

 

In my society girls are married at the age of 17-19 no matter what the rules are against child marriages. I was also told to learn household stuff because I was supposed to get married within two years. I felt very bad because nothing was going the way I wanted it to be. One day while sitting in my room I saw a calendar that was there which had a beautiful quote by Swami Vivekanad which said "Sab kuch kho dene se bhi bura us ummeed ko kho dena hota hai jiske bal pe hum sab kuch wapas paa sakte hain" (The worst than loosing everything is to loose the hope through which we can get everything back). And this hit me hard when god wants you to do something you happen to get motivation from the best places. I decided that day that, this is not my life that I am living and I have to bring back everything to normal, I have to live the way I wished. 

So I started studying again my father brought all the books I needed. In the day time I used to do all the household works and study overnight. Whenever my relatives found me studying they used to make their faces in disgust, but I had decided what I wanted. Intermediate exams are one of the most important exam in everyone's life and it was for me too but studying without any mentor, without any teacher was difficult. Youtube became my mentor then, I started studying from youtube, I studied all the calculus, physical chemistry, organic chemistry and physics. I had decided to appear for JEE Mains, when I told this to my family it became a matter of debate but my father again stood by my side and he filled the form for me. I gave the exam and fortunately I qualified it and was very happy, I told this to my parents and they were the most happy souls on earth that day. I passed my intermediate with first division. At that time I did not had any mentor or anyone who could guide me through the counselling procedure so it all went wrong. I asked my father that I wanted to go for engineering, he was ready for it, but then came the society with thousands of questions like, Why are you sending a girl to a completely unknown state? Who is going to keep an eye on her? What if she runs away with someone? and many more. These questions were directly asked to my parents and they had only one answer "I trust her".

  

After knowing all this I realized that if a boy wants to go for higher studies no one is ever going to ask questions to them, though the same questions are applicable for them too. My parents went against everyone and I was sent to pursue engineering in a completely new state. I was sent with lots and lots of hope in my parents. My mother once told me that a single action of mine in a wrong direction will proof my neighbours right.

 

Even today my parents are questioned. Last month I went to a family doctor for my lower back treatment and he asked me about my studies and when I told him that I was pursuing engineering, he directly asked my father "Beti ko hi bhej diye padhne Bete ko bhejna tha na usko q ni bheje?"(Why didn't you sent your son for higher studies instead of your daughter?). I didn't expected this question from a doctor who has seen the world and is having an MBBS degree. But  my father's reply was simple he said "She deserved this". 

The reason why I wrote this all is not to gain sympathy, or I do not want anyone to do something special for their daughters, or sisters. I just want everyone to think upon this. I don't want you to do something by going out of the box I just want that don't denie girls of their rights, their rights to get equality, their rights to be treated in a fair manner. Most of the times girls do not get motivation from the right people, so we need to keep them motivated, we need to make them believe in themselves that they too can achieve their dreams. It is a very small step that we all can take, we just have to give them equal chances to fulfill their dreams.

Thank You.